Competition

Competition. Whats a competition ? Is competition about winning and losing only? Or is it about having the experience? 

I personally like competitions, but of course I like competing in what I am good at because no one likes losing. However, if you really do lose in competition, is that all that matters? Someone once told me" You never lose anything in a competition, you will only gain experience, confidence, and motivation for the next competition. 

When a person is paying so much attention about the winning, they wouldn't be able to enjoy the competition. I enjoy competition because it is always fun and exciting. I like having the thrilled during competing. 

In all honesty, no one likes to lose in competition. Yet, no one wins all the time. Along the life journey that you walk, there is always falling and there will be times that you feel you couldn't wake up. It is more important for a person to have the courage to accept failure, because once you fall, you must always find your way, it can be a person, a thing to make you stand back up and try again. Good things don't come easily, is either you need effort to get it or else give up because it didn't worth for your effort. 

"Failure is the opportunity to begin again, but this time more wisely" - Unknown

Society

I remember how I used to laugh at people skipping meals just for on diet and I always think is unnecessary to do so .

But now , it seems like I unconsciously doing it when I grow up , the thinking of me getting fat always scares me , so if I didn't have the time for exercise , I will choose to skip meal instead by giving myself an excuse that I am too busy to eat .Slowly , my weight became very not steady . I can gain 3 kg in one week but also lose it in one day . Soon enough , my mum noticed as my short pants became lose , and a lot of shirt suddenly look loose on me . My mum paid a close attention on my eating habit . She make sure I don't skip any meals .She told me I should not be influence by the society, and I already look good for how I am now , and how important is outlook but the inner part of me matters more .

After that I realize how this society has implant a thinking inside girls , and why only skinny girls are the ideal body size , and how the society likes to laugh at fat or bigger size people . In fact , we must not only put so much attention on a person body size , and put more on how a person character and attitude acts .

Confidence

My cheerleading competition is in 2 weeks, me and my team member all get super nervous. 

Is our first time joining competition as a team, and there is a lot of difficulties that we need to face and we had to be able to be confidence enough to go through all type of difficulties. 

On the Saturday, while we are having our practise, there are other teams around practising too. Because of that reason, we couldn't able to practise as usual, we didn't manage to hit our routine. Then our captain realise that we are not confident enough to even show people our skills and ability in our routine. 

After the practise, our cheerleading captain make each of us sit down in a circle and talk to us. He wants all of us to point out what is our own weakness and strength. Through this talk, a few girls suddenly break down and cried. They are stress about the competition, they tried so hard but then still couldn't overcome their weakness and they are afraid of pulling down the whole team performance. 

However, our captain end this talk by telling us how proud he was by seeing us improving and growing stronger as a team, and he imply a lot of confidence in us. This has make the team to perform better in practise the next day and we are also willing to not only overcome our own weakness but helping others too by giving each other support and confidence. 

Confidence comes from not always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong" 

There is aways failure in life, and all we need is the confidence to stand back up after the failure. 

Abortion

Abortion is one of the current issue that is happening in Malaysia. 

The issue is discussing about whether should our country legalise abortion. 

While I was reading this news, I was thinking about a friend of mine that has been through abortion. Unfortunately, she was raped when she was 18 years old, and even unfortunate is she was pregnant after that. This caused to her to be in a serious depression. No matter how much she appreciate a life in her hands, but she could't accept the fact of her baby belongs to the rapist. Therefore, her parents brought her for abortion. By that time, abortion was illegal so they had to find some clinic that do illegal abortion operation and this caused her to have some side effect after that.

For me, I think abortion should be legalise under some strict policy. Every women should have themselves proven that giving birth to the baby will only bring harms to the baby and the mother itself in order to have abortion. For example, a rape victim was pregnant because of that and she had to do illegal abortion in some clinic that didn't have appropriate and clean equipments which caused them to have serious effect afterwards. This will only make the victim life in a worst situation. 

However, people tend to think that legalise abortion will be giving chance for some immature women to run away from their irresponsibilities, and some will even think that it will only kill more lives if abortion is legalise. 

There are so many endless discussion and different point of view towards this issue and I think this decision should be made critically and think about every parties involved. 

Moving on

Moving on is an interesting word. 

How would you consider you have already moved on when after a break up. 

If you are seeing someone new, does it mean that you already move on and stop caring about your previous partner? 

Have you tried that you are already seeing someone , but then you feel like you couldn't move on from the past. You constantly afraid that the same thing will happen again , and you think of every moment you once had and keep comparing with now and future. 

So the problem here is how do you know when you completely move on , or just a person can never completely move on from the past, is always a part of them that will remember forever? 

I get stuck constantly from the past and always keep remembering about the memories I had that makes me happy instead of creating new happy memories. 

I couldn't find the way of moving on. Till today, I was told that moving on was not depending on how others help you to move on, but it all depends on yourself because is important that you are happy with your life now so that you will feel comfortable to move on. Besides that, I need to put myself in the first place , think less about how others think about me so I will be able to move on despite people will be judging me as selfish. 

After all, the most important thing is I must be happy with what i do , and do what makes me happy. I couldn't keep feeling guilty of moving on first and leave one behind, and I couldn't keep thinking of helping him to move on because it was my decision that caused him to be in the situation like this. 

All the unhealthy thoughts I have is what caused me couldn't move on, and I need to start thinking " I deserve better than just keep myself in the past, I deserve to have happiness even though after I make a decision of breaking someone's heart, I need to stop feeling guilty for moving on and leave someone behind. 

Just do it

There is no such thing as the right timing if you are doing the right thing. 

I am always so good at procrastinating, and I often just have to rush everything to meet deadlines. 

So before Chinese New Year there are already assignments given by the lecturer, and the due dates are after cny. In this case, I need to finish up my assignments before cny or else I will be spending my cny doing assignments. 

However, I didn't manage to finish it before cny as I was already in the cny mood and getting all prepared for cny, so I thought I will be manage to finish it during cny but then I keep delaying it day by day. 

Cny holiday passes so fast and the when there is one more day left to due date, I got panicked because I haven't started to do. I became very easily irritated and got angry easily. I scolded my brother for the smallest reason, and my mum noticed so she talked to me about it. 

Through the conversation with my mum, I realise my attitude is not right and it will only become worst if I didn't want to change. It will make my future path harder to walk, and I will also make many enemies along the way. I was told that, only family will bear with your immature attitude, but outsiders will only criticise and talk bad behind your back. 

So I need to know how to stop procrastinating and make sure to plan things accordingly in order to meet deadlines without rushing. I also need to know how to keep my attitude to myself, not on others.